I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien

I have just been through the rigmarole of applying for a new passport and foreign visas.

What follows is a review/rant of the entire process.

It will be long and detailed.

Before I start, let me clarify a few things. I have been traveling since I was five years old and, other than a 10 year gap, have obtained a passport and visas, relatively easily. The problem for me is HOW you go about getting these documents.

Before anything else, my first step was to get passport photos. The closest photo studio asks 475gdes for 4 photos + 1 file on CD. I find the price a bit high but at least it's near instant delivery.

Now, I needed a new passport. I let my passport and accompanying visas lapse because I simply could not afford to do otherwise. A major project that took all my funds. I realize now that this was a mistake that I vow never to repeat again.

So, I had my passport renewed through a travel agency that is physically close to the Immigration offices and, thus, has a well-earned reputation for having their contacts inside. I chose to do so because the prospect of going through the normal channels was harrowing.

Who isn't shocked at the sight of all these people standing for hours in the sun on the sidewalk in front of the Immigration office? Who isn't disgusted by this sorry spectacle? The government still doesn't offer passport services in every département in the country, forcing most people to travel and reside here in the capital, some times for several days or weeks!

The agency has a rather high fee of 4000 gdes per passport. This is the emergency fee (at least double the normal cost of the passport + their profit). So I paid three to four times the base price…just so I didn't have to personally deal with local administration.

Most people who can afford it choose this route. Draw all necessary conclusions.

About three week after paying the agency and filing out the forms, we got a call that we were needed at the Immigration office for fingerprinting and photography. Though I was going through this process with my mother, given her age (74), she is exempted from these additional procedures.

The rant for this part of the process is two-fold.

First, and sadly unsurprisingly, the computer system went down the day of my appointment so I had to return the next day. Making me late for work two days in a row since public officials here are not early risers (unlike me!). So there was that issue to negotiate with my boss.

Second, the travel agency clearly is in a situation of monopoly and feels no need to exert more than minimal service. Other than calling me at dawn to tell me to come for the Immigration office, they did not tell me to bring a copy of my id, forcing me to pay an exorbitant price at a conveniently close street photocopy service. Literally, a guy with a photocopier on a wood table, with an extension cord illegally hooked up to the electrical pole.

Worse still, the agency filled out the passport form me and wanted to put down that I was 1m57 (5'2) and 55kg (121 lbs). I'm actually 1m53 (5ft 1/4in) and 53kg (116 lbs) so had them correct that. The implications of that are consternating.

Then, after the fingerprinting, no news from them at all. For weeks. I was really busy with work then and didn't realize three weeks had gone by when I finally called them.

My passport is dated Feb 12th, two weeks after I went to Immigration. And it was clear that they would not call me themselves.

On to the visa application. I applied for both a Canadian tourist visa  and a United States tourist visa.

I must clarify that I chose to go through the process alone because agencies ask a $50US fee or the equivalent in gourdes to do the filing for you. I think that is too expensive for the minimal work that they do.

The Canadian tourist visa application was done entirely online. I strongly recommend scanning all your document BEFORE going online.

So the process is to first, take a quiz to determine what supporting documents you will have to submit. It's interactive so whatever you input, you will be required to provide written proof of later on. At the end of the quiz, you get a checklist.

Then, you need to sign up for a profile on the CA government's immigration website. Be warned that this requires half a dozen or more secret questions and answers, most of which you have to create yourself. Since I was filing for both my mother and myself, I was quickly annoyed with all of that!!!

So you sign in and after secret questions and dire warnings, you get to the upload page were you have to fill out the relevant forms and add each of the documents from your check list (in table form with upload buttons).

This is where I lost the most time. The CA website says it takes 15-20 minutes to go through the process. That wasn't my experience AT ALL!!!

We were going through a bad patch with our internet access (at home AND at work!!!) and downloading, filling out and uploading the main form was a constant struggle. First, I could not get the interactive PDF form to download. I dug up a copy of the form I must have downloaded some time in the past. Then I couldn't get the 4-page form to generate the fifth, bar code, page. That code page is the whole point of the online process.

There is a second form to fill out on the family but that is a plain PDF that I quickly filled out, printed out, signed, scanned and then uploaded.

You MUST upload ALL the documents on the table to access the payment page. Thankfully, that was easy-peasy and I was able to pay online with my local credit card. I got a couple of emails confirmations the same day.

The cost of the CA visa is $100 CAN for the visa fees and $185 CAN for the biometrics (fingerprinting and photography). I'm not sure I understand why a few minutes of face time with a CA employee has to cost $85 but whatever.

From that point on, it went fairly quickly. Two days after the upload, I got an email with an appointment letter for the biometrics, fingerprinting and photograph. I went to the designated office in Pétion-ville. Note, the horrible traffic jams in that sector, offset  The next day, got an email requesting our passport, took them to the PV office and was told I would be alert via text or email when the passports were ready.

I deposited our passports on the 5th, got the text on the 21st of the same month so, all in all, the CA visa process took three weeks or so.

While I appreciated being able to apply and pay online, my biggest frustration was that doing so requires a strong internet signal. I also do not understand why I had to wait 1h to 1h30 for the biometrics and retrieval of the passports.

But the biggest question is WHY WAS THE PAYMENT IN USD ON MY CREDIT CARD!!?!?!?!? $142 US, with a daily rate since I finished my mother's application a week before my own and there is about $1 of difference.

Why could this not be billed in gourdes or CA dollars?

We both got a five year visa so this means as long a reprieve from the ordeal.

On to the US visa application. It too is done online. First, I had to fill out the visa application form. I find it quite annoying that here too, they expect you to be able to fill this out in 15 minutes. Maybe in a country with real 4G internet but that wasn't my experience.

I advise anyone reading this and considering online application to save your form at each step. Every 15 minutes, the site stops, logs you out and you have to start over. Ask me how I know!

The hardest part of the US visa process is that you have to outline all your previous visas and visits to the US for the last decade. It is exhausting and if you don't have your old passports, rather difficult to do.

Once you have filed out the form, you have to print out a page headlined Confirmation that features a number and your uploaded photo. Be sure to bring it to the appointment, lest you be more or less humiliated at the US consulate.

The next step is to get an account on the US immigration website. Compared to the CA process, this was fairly straight forward and, best of all, all the steps in the process are clearly outlined on one page. I had to specify how many visas to pay.

Let's stop and rant a little. The US consulate requires that you pay in gourdes. Great, but they also fix their own exchange rate of 65 gdes. So the visa fees come to 10,400gdes (rate valid until end of May, 2016 when I applied).

I learned from various people that, if you show up to pay with $160 USD, you get denied, if only because your money is not enough. Because the banks post 62,50 gdes. Very frustrating.

So with that payment slip, I went to the nearest Sogexpress. Another annoyance. The Sogexpress has a separate entrance from the main bank so you essentially have to go into the bank, get a wad of cash, go outside and enter the side office. It might have been a couple of meters but I did not feel safe at all.

I had forgotten my passport so had to come back another day. The first clerk checked my application number, I paid at the till and got a receipt. Done!

Back at home, I signed into the same website, confirmed the payment using the receipt number and was able to set up an appointment. I tried out different dates, and they all strangely have a 12h30 time.

My appointment was about 21 days later. I went early, as advised on the website. After some 15 minutes in the midday sun, the logistics of the small red tent out front were revised and I got to make a new line in the shade this time.

For those who do not know the Tabarre road were the US embassy and consulate is situated, it's a dirty thoroughfare, perpetually either in works or flooded when it rains. Nothing but fun!

The personnel there checked my name on a list, then I had to give my cell phone, USB flash drive (?) and any liquids or foods I might have. Then metal detectors and scanners.

Though they let in a large group, by my estimate about 80 people came in at the same time as I did, we were made to wait on benches on an outside pagoda. Nothing happened until exactly 12h30 when we filed into the consular offices. 8 out of 10 counters were manned.

First, they checked my Confirmation number and passport. You will not be issued a visa on a passport with less than 6 months validity. This means I will have to spend money again in summer 2020.

Moving on. Then another line for the fingerprinting and photograph. And, finally, the longest line for the face-to-face interview with the two consuls.

I will say that only 1 employee was truly personable and polite. The others ranged from perfunctory and terse to borderline rude. I was particularly upset to witness one of the employees snarking on a white-haired little old lady. Really classy!

When my turn came up, I wasn't asked too many questions: how long I had been at my current job, if I had brought my old passports (I hadn't) and then I got the visa and was told to pick it up at DHL in PV (my selection on the appmnt website) in about a week.

In all it took me about 2h30 to go through the whole in-person process. Next time, I will renew my visa through an agency within 12 months of its expiration.

Ok, so that was not brief. But I wanted to recount precisely and faithfully everything that I went through. Often, my relatives abroad have a vague idea of exactly how things happen here.

If you've been keeping tabs, you must have realized that it takes about 3 months to get a passport made, and apply for two separate visas. I know this is relatively fast for this country but I wonder how long it takes in other countries.

I can't tell you why none of the 6 other people who sat next to me in the wait area did not get a US visa. I'm conscious that money helps a lot: you can pay for an intermediate to do all the work, a fat bank account will certainly help getting the visas.

But the disappointment of so many was so palpable, it was disturbing. It's like going to an exam and failing, despite giving it your all. One case struck me as rather odd. Two young men were applying for the US visa in order to volunteer at the same (religious?) camp. One got approved, the other not. I don't get it.

Most notable of all, is the underlining feeling of disdain for the public in the manner, if not the words, of those involved in the passport and visa processes. I better understand why some people just refuse to attempt the visas at all. I can't make that choice, too many loved ones live abroad. But I understand it.

Say my name, say my name

I felt today was appropriate to address something that has been more and more noticeable and annoying, in particular since it seems to concern mainly women.

In the last ten to fifteen years, it has become the norm to identify public figures, political or otherwise, by their full and complete names. Just not the female counterparts.

So where JFK would routinely be addressed as John Fitzgerald Kennedy in the press, his wife would only be called Jackie Bouvier Kennedy. And this goes beyond reading off some unknown's id for the first time. It is systematic.

Now, before I go into a partial, slightly rambling analysis of this phenomenon, let's do a little Local Naming Customs 101.

For a long time, it was the tradition among the predominantly Catholic population to give their children two or more baptismal names, usually that of the particular Saint the parents prayed to or the one on whose feast the child was born, or the name of a beloved (sometimes deceased but not always) family elder, in addition to what the French call the "prénom usuel" ie the given name the person usually responds to.

The name order used to be that the given name was the one closest to the family name. I have three baptismal names myself, my brother has four (parental enthusiasm towards the first born, obviously). Our names both start with Marie. As does my mother's, and most of my maternal aunts.

In the last generation or so, however, this has changed dramatically. While some people continue to name their children in this manner, whether they are Catholic or not, others have adopted a new naming style.

You see, it has become de rigueur to give birth in North America, that coveted foreign passport being seen as "giving the child a future" as a coworker once told me and so, worth any sacrifice.

Including our old naming tradition which has proved problematic to foreign immigration services.

Think about it. If you remove all the names after Marie, it is impossible, at first glance, to distinguish me from my brother based on our names alone. In order to simplify and adapt, parents now name their children in the Anglo-Saxon style (?) of First Name, Middle Name/Initial and Last Name.

These names, how ever many they may be, are all printed on your birth certificate, your id, your driver's license, passport, voter's card etc.

So how does this relate to the main topic of this post i.e. naming women?

Because the difference when addressing the sexes is so marked. Whenever the government is presented, both the President and the Prime Minister are each announced by First Name 1, First Name 2, and Last Name but the only woman "super minister", as they call them now, is listed as First Name, Maiden Name and Last Name.

This triumvirate, by the way, tends to project the image of being the "only one(s) who do any work".

Yes, several women of that cabinet are simply called by First and Last Name. Strangely enough, some of them are single, married or divorced so the logic escapes me.

Interesting fact: one of them never uses her maiden name because her parent was a high profile member of the Duvalier government. Seems as though she hides behind her husband's name even if my parents never fail to remind me of who she is Daughter Of. Given that parent's bloody reputation, I can almost understand.

However, usually, it seems, men are referred to in a way distinct from women. And given the current government's overwhelming love of photo ops and "good" press, I cannot help but notice this.

Where did this naming fashion come from? I am not sure. A friend suggests that it started with the Ex-President and that it was a way for him to fudge the issue of his real name. Yes, paranoia is rampant around here so both the thesis and the real could be true.

You might have guessed that I personally put a more feminist spin on this issue. Spitting out the entire baptismal name of someone gives their address a certain Old School flair. As if the litany of their names give the men in question more weight or more stature. For those who need it. Who can doubt that certain elected officials (and candidates) are so...unexpected in their posts that they need some measure of legitimacy that elections alone cannot give them?

As for women, I am torn. Either including their maiden name is considered the modern, feminist thing to do by not erasing their identity in favor of that of their husbands.

Or, to the contrary, it is a way of showing that she has political clout despite being a mere woman. Proving her worthiness by way of blood or marriage? That she got this job because of Who She Is (Daughter Of) and Where she Comes From (What Political or Social Sector)?

But how to explain those public/famous women who have only First and Las Name? Should I understand that they are old fashioned and cannot bother with all these verbal gymnastics? that their lineage is so obscure, it isn't worth the bother? or, worse still, that they are just placeholders who do not deserve more than their share of the limelight?

What's in a name? asked the playwright. Good question.

Hit Me Baby One More Time

It seems the Cable Company has risen from its ashes. A coworker forwarded me this letter they sent out recently:



And I am tempted.

And conflicted. You see, at times, I hate the cable company. I really do.

Sure, now they have a brand new website whereas the old one was mostly a placeholder. It spells out all the new plans you could sign up for.

(I do find it odd that the website seems to be entirely in English, though. While English as grown increasingly pervasive here, the employees function in Creole or French. Maybe their target audience is the NGO/IO people?):

The major change is that they have now associated with one of my ISPs which might prove convenient. According to their price list, if I chose the double play option, my internet bill would automatically slashed in half.

But this comeback is problematic for me. First, the wording of their email is misleading. They say that the basic plan will give you 25 (the website says 26 channels). However, on closer look, that is a misrepresentation, to say the least. Let's look at the channels listed in the left-most column:



The first one is their own channel. In the past (read: prior to 2010) they had a very light programming. Only the newscast and a couple of talk shows, as I remember it. The rest of the time, the channel displayed Canadian programming and the occasional official live broadcast of elections, carnival etc. The other "local" channel was 3, only made up of program listings and commercials.

The next five channels listed are FREE LOCAL CHANNELS. Yes, I get them now with the bunny ears. How, then, could they seriously advertise them as paid-for channels? So you would actually be getting only 18 "real" channels.

My US readers will recognize most of the channels, I'm sure.

So what is my problem? Let's do a little backstory, shall we?

My father signed up for the cable service back in the early 1970s so we have gone through several mutations, mainly in price. Before the earthquake, we had about 60 channels. Or, should I say, they advertised as much. Some neighborhoods could not get the signal for all the channels.

In the past 10 years, the most note-worthy changes were when they forced us to purchase decoder boxes in late 2003. It cost $77 USD or we were told we would not get any channels. In the beginning of this adventure, they use to black-out more and more channels for every day you were late in payment.

They raised the prices at least 3 times since. Then, in December 2008, they announced we would need a new decoder because the company was going digital. I was puzzled because the US and Fr, which represent the bulk of the channels offered back then, were going digital in June 2010 and November 2011 respectively. Why the rush? I resisted the change, in part also because the new decoder was $88 USD. And they would neither take back the old one, "it belongs to you now" nor give existing clients a rebate.

They removed about 3 channels by the end of 2009, including my beloved HBO.

Then the earthquake happened and we were sure the company was done with. In late July 2010, they sent out an email that I did not receive. The account is still in my father's name and he does not have an email address. The Cable Company did not try to reach its clients in any other way. I emailed and I called, nothing.

What they were offering was a 50% rebate on their new competitor, the Satellite Company. You can see here, highlighted segment were they spelled out the offer:



For those who do not read French, it says that you will get a 50% off IF the Cable Company gives you a ticket.

I never got that rebate. Well, I don't actually miss it since the equipment + service would cost me almost $1000 USD.

But my problems don't just come from miscommunication. Their costumer service was notoriously bad and their practices deeply upsetting to me.

About 10 years ago, the Cable company offered the option of paying at any branch of a local bank instead of coming all the way downtown, I-can-smell-the-sea-from-here-downtown.

Problem was I had my service cut several times because they thought I hadn't paid. I'm always, ALWAYS on time with my bills. I'm the sort of woman who has a budget and a schedule. Seriously. When I called to complain, they told me they had no way of knowing who paid when. Their solution was to ask me to CALL THEM EVERY TIME I HAD PAID AT THE BANK TO DICTATE THE DEPOSIT SLIP NUMBER!!!

I refused to do it but my mother did so religiously.

And then there were the fees. An employee once came to cut our service for overdue fee. They were wrong, of course, as I've said above. But my brother wasn't aware of this, so he paid him. And they billed me for 40gdes + 10% TCA (sales tax) for "at home payment services".

When I moved in 2007, they charged me 880gdes for the move + 440 gdes + TCA for a length of cable, roughly the price of one month's subscription at the time. The technician said that he could not reuse the old cable and that it belong to us. Note that he never came to our old house but went directly to the new one.

So you can understand that, while the local channels I get with the bunny ears are DEAD BORING (don't worry, it's an upcoming post), I just don't want to get into this mess again.

I spoke to an employee yesterday and there are no special considerations of any kind for the old clients. He only mentioned that the 2009 decoder box might be reused. I told him most of what I've outlined in this email and he suggested I write an email. Which I did this morning.

A coworker knows somebody who knows somebody who works for the ISP and right new they are testing the service with about 200 clients and it is not going well.

I cannot wait to see how this unfolds.

It's the little things

So now we are in the last days of the electoral campaign and things are getting interesting. The violence everyone had feared is starting to rear its ugly head and we are all bracing ourselves.

I confess I haven't been following the campaign as religiously as others around me seem to have. But that doesn't mean I don't have an opinion.

Instead, my days and nights and thoughts are full of my routine.

Let me tell you about my day. I woke this morning to the sound of the cola depot next door's generator. They had been stacking boxes since 3 am at least, as usual.

Then, at the evangelical church next to the depot, the prayer guy with the crappy voice and crappier bullhorn started in on his litany.

This was 5am in the morning.

I was happy to see there was electricity but I had prepared several outfits for the week, in case I didn't get any. This also meant my spaghetti lunch didnt'spoil, always a good thing.

So I got dressed and tiptoed my way throught the junk in the alley, up the stairs. The pigs were in good shape and the pile of metal scraps the local junker was amassing managed not to crumble on my head. So far so good.

I went up the stairs, dodging the dirty water pools and random litter to wait for my ride on street level.

Now, I do this every morning: I stand about a quarter of a block away from the bridge/ravine but it didn't work this morning. Some guy was already climbing over the railing with two pig carcasses. The improvised slaughter house in the ravine had been working seriously early. I'm just glad I missed the actual deed. I'm a meat eater but I don't want the details! Thankfully, he put them in a wheelbarrow, tied them up and promptly pushed off for the nearby market.

Lucky me, my ride was late today so I got to people watch: street vendors setting up their wares on little tables; moto taxis carting a mother and her two kids; what seems like hundreds of school kids in uniforms walking together, eating fried street food and drinking energy drinks; people talking on their cells, men wearing crocs and no helmet on their bikes.

Of course, leaving Petion-Ville at 6h50am means you get to enjoy a traffic jam all the way downtown. Thankfully, once you pass what used to be the school district, things clear up pretty much by the time you reach Champ de Mars.

The tent cities that cover all the squares have become part of the scenery. The prude in me is still a bit startled to see people bathing on the sidewalks, though, to their credit, people keep some form of underwear on while doing so.

The city is still busy. Junkers are still digging throught the rubble for scraps. You recognize them by the backpacks they wear. Of course, I'm not really happy to go to work. After the aftershocks on three consecutive days last week, I worry that some of the damaged buildings might be shaken loose. Nothing has happened yet but only fools drive idly under something like Hotel Nova Scotia. Of course, one is amazed by just how many qualify as fools...

Once I'm at work, it seems pretty normal. Except employee parking is now on the site of one of the fallen office buildings. And we still only have a handfull of neiboring businesses around us. But the streets are full of people.

I'm lucky that I can go on the roof and look out on the city. The view of the bay is breathtaking...until you look down. You can trace the Boulevard by the permanent cloud of dust that covers it. It intensifies further North to the point where I thought it was smoke at first.

Things are as close to normal as we can manage at work. Of course, all the electricity is from generators. But at least a number of phone lines have been reinstated by the telcom company. I stay in my office all day long but I remember going to the bookstore or the departement store fondly. Ah, the good old days.

At the end of the day, I pass by all these things in reverse and it stays the same: I'm shocked by the same things, inured to the same spectacles, worried about the same dangers.

If I'm lucky, and the traffic wasn't too bad, when I get home it's still light, they're not burning great heaps of trash in the ravine, the pigs are alive (for now), the church is quiet and Abner is leaving the colas alone for a bit.

I'm just not that lucky that often.

One Good Thing

While the usual turmoil is happening, I have found one good thing to look forward to this year:

BUT (isn't there always a but?) since the plantain tree is growing right at the edge of the vegetable garden, we had to be creative: