Friday, September 23, 2005

La Grosse Fatigue

Several people have urged me to write more. I would like to but my muse often goes to visit her relatives in Les Irois and she can't make it back on short notice.

Seriously though, I do think a lot about my posts (which might go against blogging practises but...) and sometimes I change my mind about what I want to talk about. Or I have no electricity or no internet access.

But mostly, I'm just tired. Tired of thinking in a country where thinking isn't encouraged.

Tired of having my common sense taken for granted. Why did my parents bother to send me to school if everbody acts like I'm too deaf, dumb or blind to understand what the hell is going on?

Tired of being afraid to go outside past dark because I might witness something I shouldn't, get shot or out right killed?

Tired of accidently stepping into puddles of human blood. It's happened to me twice this month alone and it's disgusting. Plus, I watch CSI, that stuff doesn't wash off just like that, you know.

Tired of wondering why I go to work if I just get poorer and poorer every day. I got an inflation increase at work. So What? My buying power is lower than the couple of extra bills I got on my paycheck.

But mostly I'm tired of being disappointed all the time. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Why do I wake up in the morning if the day is somehow going to be worst than the last? School has started for three weeks now but the streets are almost empty before 7h am and after 5h pm. Where has everybody gone to hide?

So, for now, if you don't hear me, it's okay.

I'm just tired.

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